How my life changed in this one night

I

Was always the life of the party but I didn’t know that my life could change in one particular night. I turned into a depressed young girl with no idea why I am on this earth until NOW.

On the 23 September 2006, myself and my friends, Chaneen and Jennifer decided to go to a night club called Peter Cellar in Paarl.I was only fifteen at the time. I didn’t had any money for the entrance fee or to buy alcohol, so I decided to go to my mother to ask for pocket money.
She was already drunk, because they had been drinking since the Friday night, she gave me fifty rand...I could not stop smiling all I could think of was the big "bucks"

I took the money as fast as I could just avoid the questions "Waa is jy oppad?"

I met up with my friend and we called Graham who have a nice, car by the way. We waited under the trees, so that no one could see us going with him.  

In the car we decided to rather go to a party nearby instead of the club... We arrived at the party. We drank, dance the whole time, everything was going so well, we didn’t even look at the time. Later that night Chaneen wanted to go home I was furious because I still wanted to stay at the party, But we went home...In the car I saw it was 03h00 the next morning. Shocked, Scared!

What will I tell them why I am late? Why am I so stupid to stay out so long? Thought keeps on running. At home luck was on my side, the door was unlock, but I didn’t know my luck would turn into bad luck.

I made a bed for me on the ground so that my friends could sleep on my bed. I couldn’t fall asleep felt like somewhere, somehow somebody needs my help. My head was spinning of all the alcohol I had. I could smell the smoke on my clothes, taste the whisky in my mouth. Just when I thought I was getting calm I heard a loud knock on my bedroom window.

 ”Chaleen, Chaleen!!!” My mother’s boyfriend shouted. A warm feeling went through my body. I kept on praying “Please God don’t  ...Chaleen, staan op jou ma is koud en wil nie wakker word nie”.

Silence…

I was too scared to answer him, I knew deep in my hurt something was wrong. I finally got myself to stand up. As I was walking to her room I prayed …

My aunt, Maureen was already there. As I got closer my friend stop me. “Leave me, Leave me, I need to see if she is fine” I shouted. At last I got a chance to see her, what I saw was how I felt, empty and cold. It felt like the world was pulling me in. Her feet was blue from the cold, she was still wearing her favourite pants, smiling. I just stood there.

How could God do this to me? I kept asking myself. At the autopsy they found out she chocked of her own vomit, she was too drunk to control her actions she was also pregnant with MY, MY baby brother died with her.

The word about her death travel faster then what I could ever imagine. My family sent me to my cousins for that week. My tears became my best friend, my sweet dreams turn into nightmares.” Hoe kan God dit aan my doen?”

In 2007 my aunt Maureen legally adopted me. I realized that life are not all about having fun. I matriculated in 2009 and passed all my subjects. I started visiting workshop that are held by Woman on Farm Projects. I strive for knowledge and want to improve my life for the better. Smiling. Well I am Chaleen .J.J Arendse with my own untold story, a young woman that wants to be happy.

Well I am just and ordinary young woman still searching for her true identity, but I am reaching for new goals,”Gaan happy is”!